War on Birds

[problemo]

After waking up to see his prized Lamborghini dirtied by a flock of pigeons, Senor Muchos Problemos, the Presidente of Problemo has decided to declare a nationwide War on Birds. All birds found on/over the land of Problemo and or its territorial waters are hereby declared "enemy of the state" and may be shot at if they do not immediately surrender. Birds that do surrender will be processed by and dealt with tastefully.

All nations are invited to join Problemo in getting rid of these terrorist creatures and make the region a safer place.

As the current officeholder of the regional Ministry of Peace, Problemo maintains its commitment to achieving peace by all means necessary, even if it means killing two birds with one stone.

[Gerdon Laughis]

The Nation of Gerdon Laughis is completely against this war on the avian races and is publicly denouncing the nation of Problemo.

[The Nation of Jeff]

I think we need to start with Seagulls.

[venoslovia]

Lol im up for some bird killing

[problemo]

War on Birds: Day 1

Casualties:
Birds: 3100
Problemo: 2 dead, 3 injured

One civilian pilot was killed and 3 crew were injured after a terrorist creature of the species Larus smithsonianus made a suicide attack on a cargo plane. Following this, the nation of Problemo has decided to allow civilian airplanes to equip themselves with flamethrowers.

An elderly citizen choked to death on the furcula of an avian of the species Gallus gallus domesticus. The government has advised citizens, especially the elderly and the infirm, to exercise caution when participating in the culling and consumption of the species.

[Gerdon Laughis]

Aug 20, 2015 2:20:00 GMT problemo said:

War on Birds: Day 1

Casualties:
Birds: 3100
Problemo: 2 dead, 3 injured

One civilian pilot was killed and 3 crew were injured after a terrorist creature of the species Larus smithsonianus made a suicide attack on a cargo plane. Following this, the nation of Problemo has decided to allow civilian airplanes to equip themselves with flamethrowers.

An elderly citizen choked to death on the furcula of an avian of the species Gallus gallus domesticus. The government has advised citizens, especially the elderly and the infirm, to exercise caution when participating in the culling and consumption of the species.

"A telegram was sent to the Government of Problemo from the Empire of Gerdon Laughis" You can not continue the slaughter of these animals! The Birds keep the insects in check and their are 950,000 species of insects. No one knows for sure how many species of animals exist on Earth. In fact, some 10,000 species of animals are discovered each year! Imagine how many more insects are being discovered! The ants in the world outweigh the 7 billion human population by more that 10 times. That is only 1 species of insect and there are Millions of other species. Remember these are kept in check by the birds. Without the birds their population would begin to explode in hours. Life would would be under attack and most large animals, which includes humans, would have days left, weeks at the most. Guess the Nation with the largest mosquito population. Beastmodeseahawks, The snow melts and lays on the tundra most all of the artic summer a few inches deep. Same in Siberia, Ideal breeding conditions.

[Avian Alliance]

We have destroyed all communication lines, telegraph poles and air mail services in the oppressive land of Problemo. Unfortunately their electricity lines were underground so we could not do much about those. We shall fight to the final feather to destroy the entire nation and shall cover every statue, vehicle and person not carrying an umbrella in our excrement.

Any nation that supports Problemo's war shall also feel our wrath.

Also, the domesticated members of the avian alliance shall refuse to lay any eggs unless the nation of Problemo unconditionally surrenders.

[problemo]

War on Birds: Day 3

Casualties:
Birds: 27,000+ dead
Problemo: 3

Flamethrowers have proved an effective deterrent against birds targeting airplanes.

The capital Problemopolis has been cleared of all avian terrorists.

Hundreds of thousands of birds have been rounded up and interred into camps.

Over three hundred birds that chose to remain neutral in the conflict have had their cloacae sealed before safe release over international waters.

[Macika]

Hundreds of birds grab Elephants and drop them across the capital of Problemopolis.

[The Nation of Jeff]

We shot this bird with Kalashnikov rifle. It is now dead.You see this bird, Dead. This bird, Dead. This bird, also dead.

Quote taken from Sochi Dogs PSA

watch here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLxVhNC_oSw

ITS REALLY FUNNY

[Zeopold]

Birds are birds, I have nothing against them.

Soooorry

[Gerdon Laughis]

Aug 24, 2015 8:16:47 GMT Zeopold said:

Birds are birds, I have nothing against them.

Soooorry

As the King of the region you must step in to help these poor creatures!

[problemo]

Treaty to Settle the Problemo-Avian War

We, the leaders on behalf of either side, hereby declare that the war between the nation of Problemo and the Avian Alliance has duly been concluded as a result of a truce brokered by the Problemo Ornithological Society.

The terms of this treaty are as follows:

1. The government of Problemo and the Avian Alliance will immediately stop attacks against each other. This includes both civilian and military targets.

2. There will be clearly defined zones of habitation for the citizens of Problemo and the avian residents within the nation. Other than designated exchange zones, each will keep to their exclusive territory.

3. Inspectors from the Ornithological Society will be allowed free access to military bases of either side for a period of six weeks to monitor the enforcement of the Treaty. Both sides will also fund the Society and provide it free access to specimens.

4. Bats will be killed. F**k bats. They are a menace to humans, birds and ornithologists alike.

5. Something about pizza...



Undersigned:

      
           soɥɔnW                                                         KUKU

Senor Muchos Problemos                                                      Kuku the Rooster
President, Problemo                                                              Leader, Avian Alliance